Week 24 : It’s alive, ALIVE !

All the things I can see around me – from what I want for myself, to what I compare myself with all the time – is already in me !

I have been asking myself how to achieve what I dream about, how to be the person I want to be, and it’s been obessessing me to the point where I froze.

But the truth is simpler than the answer I’ve been looking for. All that I am aiming for is already in me – it exists already in me – it is present right now, alive, in me !

giphy

Love & Happyness to all

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Week 23 : expressing gratitude

I cannot express enough gratitude for this program.

The last few weeks have truly been awful – I have let go completely of the exercises and tried to understand where I was going with this. The challenge it has been the past 23 weeks felt like I was going backward.

I know the truth, because it lives in me, because it stands before my eyes and no matter how much resistance is manifesting right now, I know what this program, what this experience is about and I am truly grateful.

I cannot express enough the love I feel for every person in this program although I have never met most of them. How grateful I am for the work Mark and Davene have transmitted to us.

I cannot express enough the hope I have for each and every one of us to be the best version of ourselves.

Even if I’m not sure where I truly fit in all of this for now, I am truly filled with love, and gratitude, and hope.

Week 20-22 : Lost in translation

I have been more sick in the past 6 months than in the past 10 years and it’s starting to take its toll – being so tired.

I’m looking forward to see what the last weeks hold for  us in the program and I’m ready for the finish line.

It’s been a great journey so far so I’m kind of anxious to see what they have in store for us for the end…

Week 19 : About independant thinking !

I have reached an enjoyment of the exercises that is new.
In the beginning there was an excitment of the new.
Then I was getting bored with some of them, and sporadically didn’t do them consistently.
Then a sense of duty, courage, faith – powering through for the good of my future self.

Now there is this feeling that the exercises are truly part of my life. And I experience true enjoyment doing them.
I have starting teaching some around me.

I am coming to a new understanding of the exercises, my understanding – of their impact on my life, better yet, what I want them to impact on my life, why I want them in my life.
So it makes me desire them even when I am resisting them. It goes beyond the guild I have felt before when I was not being consistent. Today there is no guild – there is just me watching the resistance, aknowledging it and moving passed it, because there is no other way for me now.

And it is starting to expand the reach of independant thinking around the program.
Questions like how to own the process for myself or how to make it fit my life better have started to pop up in my head.
How can I expand this further into my life?
How can I play with it ?
How can I bring more consistency into this practice ?handsbirds

In a sense I can feel as we are entering the third act of this experience, the importance of developing my own thinking around every aspect of what we are and have been doing – spread my own wings.

And the vision thus far is endless as to how much I can do to push this forward, as to how much I can accomplish.

Right now, all I want to focus on is find that place of harmony for myself – and let myself be surprised and uplifted by where it can take me.

Peace, play & passion !

Week 18 : Power to create

Concentrate upon your power to create.

Seek insight and perception.

Find a logical basis for the faith which is in you.

That was Haanel plan for us on week 18. I found it hard to understand what it meant at first, especially on finding a logical basis for faith. Then I just let it go and asked for insight and perception on my sit.

And here is what came for me.

The faith in me comes from my need to connect, my need for a purpose, give sense to my life and the world surrouning me. It was brought to me by my search for truth and freedom. I need it to breath, to live, to exist in the world. Without it I am in despair and confusion – I am lost.

For my power to create I need to be in the flow of energy, enjoying the flow of energy, play with the flow of energy.

I need to see the flow of energy in me and in other people.

It’s about connecting with this energy, giving energy and receiving energy.

It’s about embracing love as this process of exchange of energy – getting that energy of LOVE out there.

Peace & Love to all.

Week 17 HJ : Con-fusion

Focusing on self-control this week actually brought a lot of confusion.

Self-control is the first virtue I have had a hard time to spot in others. Or should I say I spotted lack of self-control more easily.

And as the week went by I was realizing I had a lot more self-control than what I initially thought… maybe even too much. Especially considering I was focusing on self-control the very week we were asked on the MKE to look at obituaries, which I looked at as a metaphor for letting go of things of the past to move forward.

At that point I could not look at self control as a virtue anymore but on the contrary as something that can be blocking my path.

Can there be any fusion between self-control and letting go ? Is there a point where these can meet ?

So now I’m not actually sure I want to develop self-control as a virtue.

I’m still thinking about it but it seems for me, right now, learning to let go and follow my bliss is more important.

Discipline and persistence in this aspect are of trumendous value. And I’m not sure self-control fits in as I feel it has the potential to be counter-productive.

 

I want to be the observer, it’s fun and instructive. I do not want to be vigilant all the time, it’s stressful.

I haven’t made up my mind yet… time will tell !