I have been thinking about doing this for a while. When Mark and Davene started to talk about developing an intimate relationship with our future self it made a lot of sense to me.
I was at a café with a friend a few weeks ago and she tells me about these 36 questions to fall in love, or just to get to know your loved ones better. We actually did them together and we had a really good time.
As I was going back home it just hit me, that’s exactly what I need to do to build a loving, intimate relationship with my future self.
These questions come from a study by Arthur Aron which states that intimacy between strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. Well what better way to create that intimate relationship with my future self, get to know her better.
It was an amazing and very rich experience to do, filled with emotions and clear-cut ideation as I had to put myself in my future self shoes to answer the questions. I’m also going to use this to completely re-do my press release.
It was very interesting to realize on which points me and my future self are completely aligned and on which I need to focus to grow. I learned way more than I initially thought I would when I had the idea.
I have used most of the questions, just left a few on the side because they did not seem fitting for the kind of experience and inner-journey I was aiming for.
I would really advise to do it for yourself. It took me a few hours to be honest but so worth it. I feel really connected to my future self now, she is present in my life. I feel like she is now part of my decision process.
Most of all I would really love your feedback on this. I’m sure there are ways to make this grow even deeper and wider… let me know.
Set I
- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Me & My future self : Pope Francis. I would settle for the Dalai Lama though (laughts).
- Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Me & My future self : I would really not like to be famous. I like my independence too much.
Me : Although it is important to me to be recognized by my peers as an innovative force in coaching and by my clients as a good coach.
My future self : Recognition is also important to me. For me recognition comes from within. Being recognized by the outside world is an extension of that as far as I am concerned. It is a gift that comes from me first.
- Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
Me : Yes, not all the time, but often if there is something specific I need to tell someone, I might even write it down so I’m sure I will get it right.
My future self : Yes, definitely ! I go further, I visualize it. It is so important to know why we are doing what we are doing and what result we are aiming for. This is true for everything in life.
- What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
My future self : A perfect day for me is when things flow effortlessly, in truth, consciousness and love. Such a perfect day. I am happy to say I have many of those.
- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
Me & My future self : I sing to the Lord every day ! It is such a blessing to praise. It is a movement of grace and gratitude.
- If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Me : I want to say the mind and on the other hand, I have heard people say that we don’t know pain until we get old and seriously sick…
My future self : The mind. That’s where all the power is. That’s where life is.
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Me & My future self : No. It is not for us to know the hour of our death. My only true concern about death is to be one with my savior when it happens so I can fall right into his loving arms. That is my life’s work !
- Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Our love for Jesus – Our trust in Jesus – Our will to walk with Jesus
- For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
Me : My relationship with Jesus. More than grateful, I feel blessed by that.
My future self : The love that surrounds me daily in my relationship with my soulmate. I feel his support daily in my life. In his presence, it is so easy for me to shine completely and unveil the true nature of my beauty where he can find strength and comfort.
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
Me & My future self : Support for my creativity and trust in my choices. But things are as they are, no doubt for a reason. I have taken responsibility for it and made my peace with it a long time ago. Now I’m just grateful to have a loving family !
- If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Me & My future self : Humility – I guess it is a life long journey to reach true detachment from the circumstances that surround us and know deeply that everything belongs to God.
Set II
- If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Me & My future self : I already know the truth about myself. There is one thing I would love to know : is there life, intelligent life I mean, somewhere else in the universe… I believe there is. The law of probability tells us so. I guess I’d like to know what form it takes, how they live, how they think… everything.
- Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Me & My future self : I’ve crossed that line a few times in my life. It’s a question everyone should ask themselves and be honest about it… and then do it ! As far as I am concerned, when I come to that point, that means it is time to change something. It’s a warning. If there is something I want from life and keep myself in anyway from achieving it, that means something in me is not aligned anymore and need to be put back together so I can move forward.
My future self : Right now I am happy to say I’m in a place where my dreams are aligned with my life. It hasn’t always been that way. But I have always been eager to make my dreams a reality. It’s a state of mind really. To not give up, to be persistent and know what we stand for.
In the past years I have accomplished so many dreams from small to big things that I had wanted to do for such a long time :
- I’m going on spiritual retreats at least once a year
- I’ve spend my summer 2018 vacation in Hawaii with my sister (we had been dreaming of doing that together for years)
- I travel almost every month
- I’m practicing yoga and ballet every week
- I play the piano at least three times a week (if not everyday)
- I have my online personal development and lifestyle business
- I have my dream apartment in Paris
- I own a car
- I’m married
- I speak on events all around the world
- I wrote a book
- I dwell in positive habits
- …
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Me : Being the youth minister for my church for four years.
My future self : Fullfilling my true purpose : building creativity and developing spiritual awareness.
- What do you value most in a friendship? What does friendship mean to you?
Me : Loyalty.
My future self : The interconnection of kindred spirits, congenial friendships. To be surrounded by the right people makes such a difference in life. It has been a blessing in my life in the past few years to meet and befriend the most amazing spirits and souls. When I realized that I was actually very good at creating interpersonal constructive relationships with people and gave myself permission to enjoy doing this, I met the right people – or should I say, the right people were brought into my life – and created, and continue to create wonderful friendships.
- What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Me & My future self : Love is everything. As St Augustine says : “Love, and do what you want”. There is nothing that love cannot accomplish because love is Truth. Everything is love. The entire creation is an act of Love.
Me : Love, as a general rule is not missing in my life. I live by it. I love my family and friends and they love me. But I am missing a partner in life. Although it has not been an issue for many years as it didn’t seem as a priority in my life, the past years I have come to want to share my life with someone.
My future self : Now to be more specific, the love and affection my husband and I share is a major component in our lives and our life together. It’s a choice we made in harmony with one another and with our creator. We believe we are soulmates. And for us that is not to say that we cannot live without one another. That would be blind codependency. It means that we consciously choose to live with one another, in a commitment of love for one another. And it is so beautiful because it elevates us beyond what we are as individuals. Now we are co-creators of our lives. It is true for every relationship and our commitment to one another reminds us of that every day on a deep level. It is for me the extension of a most profound experience of connection with the divine – Love in its purest form made in flesh.
- Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
Me to my future self : You are shining with no restrains
Me to my future self : You are confident and proud to share your life purpose and dreams
Me to my future self : You are moving forward in joy and harmony
Me to my future self : You have a successful and positive mindset
Me to my future self : You are always persistent and consistent in your path toward truth and freedom
Set III
- Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
We are both always on the search for truth and freedom
We have both always sought to make my dreams come true
We are both in love with Jesus
- Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
Me : Well I said it before, I wish I had someone to share my life with (laughs).
My future self : I have someone I can share my daily routine with, my love for God, my ever going path toward truth and freedom, my love for self-development, my interests in astronomy, music, dance, yoga, spirituality, my awe for the new technologies and internet, my entrepreneurship, my love for travels and new discoveries…
- If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
My future self to me : For us to move forward together, It is important for you to believe, have faith, that you are accomplishing everything you have described and decided. It is yours, already !
- Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
My future self to me : I like that you are true to yourself and sticking with your commitment to yourself to be honest. I like that you want to better yourself and accomplish your dreams. I like that you never gave up to walk on the path of truth and freedom. I like that you genuinely care for others. I like that you kept your true heart, always, as a statement to adversity.
- Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
My future self to me : I like, I love that you are committed to building our relationship. That you are setting right now our future in motion by writing it down. That you put our hearts in sync to be one heart, our minds in sync to be one mind, our thoughts in sync to be one thought, one ideal.
I think you’re a wonderful gal and I love you, dear, dear Marie. Thank you for making me part of your life today !
- Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Me : Sometimes I feel like any personal growth major step I make happens in pain and suffering, in struggle. How can I grow and continue to grow and move forward in harmony ?
My future self to me : I am touched by your candor. Obviously I relate. I have been in that place. Just as I was telling you how recognition comes first from my own recognition of myself and that I can enjoy the recognition from the world around me because it already exists in me, well the joy and the harmony you seek comes from within. Plant it in your heart, as a commitment to yourself, as you did for honesty, for your search for truth and freedom, and nurture it, with faith. Joy is not about being content, nor is harmony about outside circumstances. True joy, pure harmony comes from being one with the Divine. When your will is his will, when your heart is his heart, when your love is his love. When you freely give your life in faith.
It seems to me that your suffering comes from your resistance to the process. You are resisting to leave the comfort of your old surroundings, what you already know. You probably dwell in a sort of nostalgia from familiar circumstances and habits. You have planted beautiful seeds in the past years and through your entire life and you wish to see them grow. But you forget that for a seed to grow into a plant and bear fruits, it must die. And so as the bible says, you must die to yourself to be born again in the fruits of your labor. And it is not the death that causes you suffering. It is your resisting to accept to die that creates pain.
Let’s complete this with a few inspirational quotes :
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.
John 12:24
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17
That, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.
Ephesians 4:22 24
That last question was a surprise, I didn’t know I had it in me… I was moved, I stayed in awe and elevation for an hour after that.
Now I know when I’m struggling with something, all I need to do is ask my future self because she is in a place where she knows and she is in me.
I’m so glad I did that ! It put my relationship with my future self on an entirely new orbit.
Love, always !
The Coaching Life 